Missing my Papa

I hope I can still hear his voice. 
 I wish I can still listen to his praises.
I pray I can still hug him.

He was just an ordinary man. A typical father per se. But he has a dream, a great ambition.

The ambition was not plainly for himself, but for the sake of his family. I can still remember him brag to his barkadas that someday, his son will become a notable person in our place. That someday, his son will elate the family to a better life. That someday, his children will not be like them anymore, totally opposite from the illiteracy and dirty jobs attached to them. 

That was my "Papa."

He was just a typical father, yes. But he was the greatest man I've ever known compared to Galileo, Isaac Newton, Neil Armstrong or whosoever!

He was a man with dignity, a man of reputable principle; one who fought what was right and what was morally accepted. Above all, he was more than a typical father as he provided us our needs, played at times, and disciplined us well.  He even attended regular meetings in school every time the PTCA called for one. And he was always present and interacted with people.

The wrinkled brown, yet dignified face he possessed is still vividly registered in my memory. He was a great man. He's the greatest man I looked up to.

Papa loved us. I can feel it though he never uttered those words to us.

I can still remember the laughter, the joy, the smile in our faces every time he used to play fun with all of us, his 5 children. 

But all these are plain memories now. I cannot have his tangible presence with us. I can no longer hear his voice. I can no longer listen to his praises and encouragement. I can no longer have him back. He is gone.Gone.

I always feel disadvantaged upon seeing children who still have their parents close with them. 

To see a child whose father or a mother accompanying him or her to school, or playing with them in a park, is a scene irritating my eyes. 

Right there and then, I shed a river of tears because I never had the chance to experience those basic needs of a child an now, I have been acting as the father in the family, in his place. 

I am in grief because I never had the chance to tell him how proud we were to be his children! Yes, still in grief for losing those meaningful and once in a lifetime opportunity to make him feel we are proud he was our father!

I never had the opportunity to let him know how much we care for him; that we were so lucky to have him as our Papa. I never had the opportunity to give him what he deserve to have. I never had the opportunity to show him my achievements and to tell him, all along, Mama and him are our inspiration!

The time he spent with us was so short. But I sincerely hoped he was once happy in his life to have us. 

I still believe that someday, we will cross our ways together. Surely not on this world but the life after this. There, we will surely let him know those unspoken words that we, his family had always wanted him to know. 

We love you Papa! 

Adios.